Shuffle Synchronicities: Volume 1 - #316
"yellow is the color of her eyes" by Soccer Mommy - 11/29/21
"yellow is the color of her eyes" by Soccer Mommy
Sophie Allison a.k.a Soccer Mommy said of this song to Pitchfork:
“It’s about feeling like you’re losing time with someone you care about, and not wanting to wake up in a couple of years and feel like you wasted the time that you had. My mom has had a terminal illness for the last 10 years, since I was 12. It was something that I always pushed to the back of my mind, but when I started traveling a lot around Clean, I ended up spending a lot of time worrying about the fact that time is slipping away.”
And to Apple Music:
“Anything can happen at any second. You’re not immortal, your people die, and people get ill. At any time, things can change. Anything can change.”
It’s from the album color theory and Soccer Mommy uses a lot of color theory in the lyrics of the song.
The bright August sun feels like yellow
And the white of her eyes is so yellow
Here she plays with the two associations of yellow. The first suggests the positive and joyous, while the second suggests mental or physical illness.
I also have a similar strong association with the color yellow with the former. Though I’m only starting to see how too much yellow can suggest the latter.
Soccer Mommy also uses the classic color theory of blue.
I'm still so blue
I can't erase the hue, it's just colored over
I had a similar strong association of blue with the sad and depressed parts of me, but recently, though, I’ve added pink to yellow as my other strongest personal color association.
And have decorated a lot of my apartment with matching pink and yellow decor.
For instance, on small/local business Saturday, I supported my friends at Miwak Junior by buying these two sculptures/pipes, which make great holiday gifts BTW.
Pink has associations for Russ Hudson of the Enneagram with point 9, which has Love as its virtue.
And, of course, it is related to romance in holidays like Valentine’s Day.
And, ironically or not, sunflower yellow is the color Russ Hudson associates with point 7, which is what I currently identify work to do with.
The old point I had, or thought I had, work to do with was point 4, which he has color associations with black and dark green, both of which I barely ever wear/display.
Yellow still seems to represent me, or my personality, or my ego, which is the belief in my personality, best, just look at the color I chose for Shuffle Synchronicities.
Right?
I even got something yellow to wear delivered in the mail today.
Pink seems to remind me of the feminine half that I don’t have in my life anymore as a single person.
For more information on color theory check out these two books:
and
What about you?
What are your color associations?
The other thing I noticed about this shuffled-to-song is that it conveys a naming theory I have.
It might have already been coined by someone else.
But essentially I think that most people when they name themselves a social media or email account or a band or stage name that is not just their given legal name, they tend to unconsciously or consciously reveal an aspect of their personal narrative.
In this case, Sophie Allison, who has dealt with her mom’s terminal illness since she was 12 years old, has named her musical alias, Soccer Mommy, which seems to consciously or unconsciously show what seems to be one of the main stories of her life.
Take a look at your current or old social media handle or email, and use your right brain, do you find any associations that seem to suggest something about you?
Lastly, I think I should include the full look of the yellow thing that synchronistically arrived in the mail today.
That’s right, it’s a genderqueer/non-binary tshirt-dress.
With an Instagram filter LOL.
I should point out that as an Enneagram 7, my object relations are a perceived frustration affect with my nurturing figure, which according to Enneagram object relations theory causes me to gluttonously acquire objects and experiences that my ego believes will give me the nurturing pleasure I thought was lacking.
Quite literally this was thought by psychologists to be an issue with the perception of the availability of the mother’s milk, which is why perhaps gluttony is the result.
In the case of the opposite, the frustration affect with the father figure, this would be Enneagram type 1, which I’ve said before I believed my ex-wife to be, which according to Enneagram object relations theory, was the perception that the guidance of how the world works wasn’t supplied by the father figure, which results in 1s resentfully having to become their own guide and protector and later going out in the world unconsciously and/or consciously believing that they objectively know what is right and wrong and how the world should work when it’s really their subjective superego telling them so.
Quite literally this was thought by psychologists to be the father figure being physically absent, which is why resentment is the result.
But again, this could merely be the child’s perception not the parent’s behavior.
If you are a parent now, don’t worry! It’s not your fault how your child perceives you in the object relations matrix! But also! They will perceive you some type of way ;)
Contemporary theorists believe the perception itself is a temperament we’re at least partly born with / otherwise siblings would have the same object relations.
Okay, so back to the music: the further synchronicity that the artist is named Soccer Mommy and the song is about the color yellow seems to be saying that this purchase of a genderqueer/non-binary tshirt-dress is not actually the thing that will make me happy and satisfied or get my needs fulfilled.
And that’s true.
After the immediate gratification of wearing the tshirt-dress and taking the photo and sharing it with a few friends, I’m back to my normal level of happiness and contentment.
Which fortunately is not too low anymore generally and definitely not too low right now.
Occasionally dressing in genderqueer/non-binary clothes, it seems to me, won’t solve any identity issues or egoic patterns.
In a way, they are one and the same in that the ego pattern might be the identity issue.
Desiring new objects and experiences like the experience of wearing the object of a tshirt-dress is perhaps the issue.
Enneagram teachings even say that the sexual instinct of Enneagram 7s is a gluttonous hunt for novelty, which would perhaps in part explain the evolution of my sexuality as a result of a search for novel experiences with pornography.
So what would?
Becoming grateful for whatever I have and content with what is.
Perhaps.
Or as the Enneagram says:
“Assimilate experiences in depth, making them deeply grateful and appreciative for what they have. Become awed by the simple wonders of life: joyous and ecstatic. Intimations of spiritual reality, of the boundless goodness of life.”
But now that I do own this yellow genderqueer/non-binary tshirt-dress, I will appreciate that I have it.
Because even though I know now I bought it from an average level of consciousness, which is more acquisitive instead of present.
Or as the Enneagram says:
“As restlessness increases, want to have more options and choices available to them. Become adventurous and ‘worldly wise,’ but less focused, constantly seeking new things and experiences: the sophisticate, connoisseur, and consumer. Money, variety, keeping up with the latest trends important.”
It is still pretty fun.
Perhaps the most important thing is that I no longer feel as much frustration toward my nurturing figure, now that I realize why that happened, and that it wasn’t her fault.
Hi Mom!
What do you think of the tshirt-dress???
And if I do feel that frustration affect, I realize that it’s often my egoic object relations pattern, and I’m able usually to become aware of that, in order to lessen the intensity, frequency, and duration of that frustration with her or someone else.
Or at least that’s the theory as of today ;)
Right, Kid Cudi and Kurt Cobain???
And Pete Davidson???
Gotta ‘keep up with the latest trends’/Kardashians, right?
Or in meme/tweet form:
Okay, that’s the three hundred and sixteenth Shuffle Synchronicities.